Violence Concerns Us All
A recent dark figure study by LeSuBiA revealed the following findings:
“Nearly half of women (48.7 percent) and 40.0 percent of men experienced psychological violence in a (former) partnership at least once in their lifetime. Emotional violence accounts for the largest share of the forms of psychological violence recorded in LeSuBiA, at 37.8 percent. Although women are more affected over the course of their lifetime, an examination of the last five years shows that men are also comparatively frequently affected by psychological violence (men: 23.3 percent; women: 23.8 percent) and particularly by controlling violence (men: 8.7 percent; women: 7.1 percent).” (BMI, 2026*)
(Press release published on February 10, 2026)
Experiences of violence manifest in various forms: they range from psychological and physical violence to sexualized assaults and economic control. People of all ages and genders can be affected, regardless of the nature of the relationship.
Despite these dramatic figures, the topic still carries a strong social taboo. Violence in partnerships in general — and psychological violence in particular — needs greater visibility in our society.
Continuous awareness-raising is necessary. Those affected are often confronted with stigmatization and social isolation.
Psychological violence is frequently not recognized as such, which is partly due to widespread societal perceptions and a lack of public awareness.
Another challenge for people in the surrounding environment is recognizing when behavior is simply rude or inappropriate and when it constitutes violence.
Examples of Forms of Psychological Violence:
- Degrading behavior: Perpetrators attempt to elevate themselves through repeated degrading behavior toward the affected person. Initially, this may appear as criticism, ridicule, or mockery about clothing or behavior. However, it can quickly escalate into severe insults directed at the person themselves — for example about their work, lifestyle, or interactions with others. Over time, those affected increasingly come to believe that it is impossible for them to do anything right.
- Ignoring, neglect, and silence: Perpetrators attempt to manipulate the affected person through ignoring, neglect, or prolonged silence. The affected person may feel guilty without knowing what they have done wrong. In some cases, perpetrators deliberately portray themselves as the victim and shift responsibility onto the affected person through blame.
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of psychological violence in which perpetrators cause affected individuals to doubt their own perception and judgment. This may involve presenting false versions of memories or inventing events, which can lead to considerable insecurity and self-doubt for those affected.
- Isolation: Isolation often occurs in partnerships and serves as a means for perpetrators to separate affected individuals from friends, relatives, and family. Phone calls or invitations may be deliberately withheld, meetings intentionally sabotaged, or the affected person’s social circle discredited. Cut off from the outside world, the affected person has little opportunity to talk about their experiences or receive encouragement from others to leave the relationship.
Threats and blackmail: Threats and blackmail can bind the affected person to the perpetrator and serve as a means of pressure. Shared children can become a powerful form of leverage. The fear of losing them, that harm might come to them, or that they might witness the psychological abuse places a heavy burden on those affected.
- Passive-aggressive behavior: Passive-aggressive behavior may express frustration, bad moods, or latent conflicts. The perpetrator unsettles the affected person through barbed remarks, sarcasm, and mockery, leading them to believe they have done something wrong.
Stalking: Stalking most often occurs outside of relationships but can also appear within partnerships as a form of psychological violence. The perpetrator repeatedly compels the affected person into contact — for example through phone calls, letters, emails, or social media.
Possible Effects of Psychological Violence on Those Affected
- Feeling controlled by others
- Development of a spiral of dependency
- Psychological and physical stress reactions
- Negative effects on self-perception and self-esteem
- Threats to mental and physical health, including suicidal thoughts
Possible Consequences:
- Sleep disorders
- Anxiety
- Panic attacks
- Fear related to the future, such as fear of being followed or harassed
- Self-doubt
- Depression
- Eating disorders
- Suicidal thoughts
Psychological violence can also lead to trauma-related consequences. It is important to take statements from affected individuals within one’s own environment seriously and seek professional help. By the time those affected overcome the barrier of reaching out to others or seeking professional support, they have often already endured a long period of suffering.
For this reason, it is also important to address one’s own observations and encourage affected individuals to seek professional help. Within a professional setting, initial stabilization can be provided. Individuals can also be informed about their options and rights, and referred to additional support services that may offer assistance.
Talking in a safe and confidential environment helps people gain orientation—both for those directly affected and for those who are concerned that someone in their environment might be experiencing violence.
At INSITE-Interventions, we offer a wide range of support services for affected individuals through our counseling programs talingoEAP, meinEAP, and our consultation sessions.
Additional Support Services and Helplines (IN GERMANY):
Police emergency number: 110
Local women’s shelters (via the coordination office): +49 30 338 43 42-0
National helpline “Violence Against Women”: 08000 116 016
Men’s helpline (available only in some federal states): 0800 123 9900
Victim support hotline “Weißer Ring”: 116 006
“Nummer gegen Kummer e. V.” helpline for children and young people: 116 111
* (Source: BMI. (2026. 10. Februar). Dunkelfeldstudie LeSuBiA zeigt: Weniger als zehn Prozent der Gewalterfahrungen werden angezeigt. Bundesministerium für Inneres. https://www.bmi.bund.de/SharedDocs/pressemitteilungen/DE/2026/02/lesubia.html.)